Are You A Winner Or A Loser?

     Are you a winner or a loser?  As I was driving home from the gym this morning, something on the radio got me thinking about this.  I really only listen to talk radio, since most of the music stations seem to only get the rights to play the same four songs in a cycle of repetitive monontony (I honestly can't even begin to substantiate this claim, but I've spent a lot of time imagining a back story for how this occurs so in the interest of making myself feel like it was time well spent, I'm going to blindly believe that I somehow correctly guessed how the industry works).  Bottom line:  I choose to listen to talk radio as an alternative to music radio.  It is entertaining, keeps my mind engaged and its different everyday.  The reporter was relaying a story about a school somewhere (who cares where, am I right?) that has made the decision to not keep score during their soccer games.  We've all probably heard of this scenario at some time or another.  They decide not to keep score so that the kids don't get their feelings hurt, they all get trophies, yada, yada.  But as I was still coming to terms with the fact that I've become desensitized to this whole line of thought, the story took an additional twist, one for which I was not prepared.  Apparently, some of the children couldn't dribble the ball(aha!  Are you impressed with my knowledge of soccer terms??  Dribbling in soccer, unlike basketball, simply means handling the ball with your feet to work your way across the field).  Well, they couldn't dribble the ball quite as well as some other kids, so they elected to leave the ball out of the game.  Are you freaking kidding me?  Imagine watching this game of pretend soccer where the kids are running back and forth on the field, no score, no ball, and wait, why am I watching this?  This sort of sounds like running around a track, now.  Just tell the kids to do some sprints.

    Okay, now we're going to play tennis, but sometimes the ball hits the net and that could disappoint someone, so let's remove the net.  The tennis racket can get heavy after a while, so let's just pretend we are holding a racket and you don't have to worry your delicate little mind about missing the ball, because guess what?, we are going to just imagine that the ball is there.  No need for those pesky out of bounds lines, they can be such a nuisance!  I know that some people can get tired of running back and forth faster than other people and that's just not fair, so no running allowed.  Alright!  Good game! You guys played your hearts out, out there!  Good job.  Tomorrow, you get a trophy for sitting on the couch and watching TV.  Keep up the great work!

    This doesn't adequately prepare children for life.  In life, producers are rewarded.  Laziness is punished.  At work, promotions occur because someone is better at something than someone else.  People that can produce results get paid more than non-producers, and this makes sense. 

     "You tried but your results were the opposite of what we were going for, but dammit, you tried.  Here's a pay increase for trying."  Nope, it would never happen.  Can you imagine the shock these kids experience when they grow up, get out into the real world, and never get a trophy for just participating?  Everything they learned in school taught them that all they need to do is participate.  They've never been subjected to performance pressure and now they are not conditioned to handle it.  Freak out.  Depression.  Confusion.

     Here's the truth...Tell as many kids as you can, so they can be prepared for life:

     Are you a winner or a loser?  Everyone is both.  We don't always win.  But, on the positive side, we don't always lose.  Learn to accept a loss.  It teaches you what not to do next time so that maybe, when you are presented with the same situation, you'll make the necessary adjustments to win.  We lose to learn.  Use it as a learning experience.  Everyone's goal in life is to win more than they lose.  Produce.  Producers are rewarded.  Hard work is rewarded with wins.  Mediocrity is rewarded with losses.  Welcome the loss objectively, even positively, and change the thing that made you lose.  We are all trying to beat the other team.  Life keeps score.  Bosses keep score.  Life puts the ball in play and life gives trophies only to the winners.  A loss means you need to work hard and practice more. A win means you need to work hard and practice more.  Get it?  It's the same.  There will always be a competitor that worked harder than you, practiced more than you.  Acknowledge this fact, it's the natural order of the universe.  The goal here is to get good enough to capture a few wins, and then more.  Everyone is after the title and no one can stay on top forever.  Try to give yourself a few moments up there, because its always brief.

     Life makes you play with the soccer ball.  Skill level in sports, in everything--in life, is like fingerprints.  There is no one that is an identical match.  If I were on that scoreless, ball less soccer field, I would still try to be the best damn imaginary soccer player out there, because I want the biggest imaginary trophy ever not given out for not being the team's irrelevant MVP.

     Now get out there and produce!